Just funny shit

What to Do, and Not Do, When You’re Overdue

Now that I’ve been pregnant for seventeen months, I’m getting a tad anxious for this baby to be born. He weighs approximately twenty-seven pounds, my pelvis has melted into my knees, and the male elephants at the zoo are starting to eye me suggestively. Okay, so I’m really just nine months pregnant exactly – 40…

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How to Prepare for Snowmageddon When You Have Children

How to Prepare for Snowmageddon When You Have Children

Last month, I experienced the extreme pleasure of being trapped in my house, with four insufferable children, for a solid week. This was because Mother Nature, in all of her wisdom, wanted to provide me with a learning experience in the form of 18 inches of frozen precipitation. Before you say it, yes I realize…

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Escape the Plagiarism Trap – Get a Life with MAPP!

Escape the Plagiarism Trap - Get a Life with MAPP!

It’s Sunday evening, and your husband is well into his 13th hour of whatever sport is on TV this weekend. After a long day of tending to the every whim of people who don’t appreciate it, you tuck (fight, cajole, and bribe) the hyperactive crotchfruits into their beds. Time for some “you time”. Time to…

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Why I Can’t Relate to TV Births At All

Pretty much every time I’ve ever watched a birth scene on TV, I found myself yelling at the screen: THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW IT WORKS!   For a while I assumed, “well, this is because they only hire male writers”. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that plenty of TV shows employ women. So, either…

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NAILED IT!

Since I’m about to abandon my four-year-old with her grandparents for a week, I couldn’t say no when she asked me for a play tent in Walmart today. After an afternoon of shopping while battling the Alabama heat (95 degrees) and humidity (573 percent), I returned home with this thing. My mom and the other…

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